Recently in Oh, brother. Category

Sometimes an article just makes you shake your head:

THE woman given the job of promoting McDonald's has revealed the secret of the fast-food chain's success – salt and fat.

...

"But fat and salt makes food taste good. There is no point taking all the fat and salt out of your food because people won't like it and they will eat with someone else. We have to make small steps to help people improve their diet."

What an epiphany! And yes, salt and fat are absolutely essential for good health, and yes, a double Quarter Pounder has way more of both than you need in the course of a day. Unless you're Michael Phelps.

(Disclosure: I've been a Starbucks shareholder over the years, and if I was masochistic enough to look at a brokerage statement these days I could tell you for sure if I'm in the stock now.)

I haven't been a Starbucks fan for quite a while now for one main reason- their coffee has gone way downhill since their meteoric expansion. They've been a victim of their own success- it's much, much harder to source a million pounds of quality coffee beens than it is to procure 100,000 pounds. I get that, really.

You either buy into the whole half-caff mocha java tall/grande/venti one Equal one Splenda no foam whip Frappicino thing or you don't, but my main beef is the quality of the coffee and the mass produced pastries that are so heinously overpriced it offends me when I have to spend money there while at an airport.

Having said all that, I was fascinated by an article I came across today that really made me aware of the nasty coffee war going on against Starbucks:

McDonald's has erected a billboard in sight of Starbucks headquarters declaring, "four bucks is dumb."

If Dunkin' Donuts' taste test commercials were the schoolyard equivalent of blowing spitballs at the coffee giant from afar, then the latest from McDonald's is like pulling a wedgie. Starbucks employees driving northbound can see the billboard on their way into the city.

Another billboard slogan jabs, "large is the new grande." The two phrases are displayed on 140 billboards in Western Washington, some of them near Starbucks cafes.

Ouch.

Have a favorite coffee? I pick up a few coffees I like at Sprouts, but I've enjoyed a lot of Peet's coffee over the years.

When all else fails to get customers in the door, there's always gluttony:

While such deals are most pronounced and heavily marketed in the troubled casual-dining sector, even quick-service and family-dining operators now are touting "endless," "bottomless" and "never-ending" food portions.

Practitioners insist that the all-you-want marketing messages are not signs of desperation and that unlimited servings of key comestibles can be cost-effective, despite giveaway gaffes that previously hurt prominent restaurant brands. Regardless, industry analysts say such appeals to gluttony may be necessary in the current economic climate.

It's a vicious cycle- blow out portions to bring 'em in, cut corners to get get your food cost percentage down, people feel ripped off (but really full) and don't come back. Not a healthy sign for the industry.

What's the point?:

They didn't want to just shrink the Twinkie, known for its elongated shape, Leavitt said, so they created three, miniature round versions. Leavitt said people enjoy having multiple bites rather than just the one product.

"It's not some impostor like some portion control products would be," Leavitt said. "From that standpoint it eats like a Twinkie, it smells like a Twinkie, it tastes like a Twinkie."

He didn't disclose how they ensured that the new version kept the taste of the old one.

I would've posted a picture, but I don't have a photo attachment for my microscope... Actually, I was surprised to read that a regular Twinkie only has 150 calories.

How can they kill a classic?

The joint venture between SABMiller's U.S. unit and Molson Coors Brewing Co. told distributors in a letter Monday that production of the malt liquor beverage was discontinued as of Oct. 10. Chief Marketing Officer Andy England says the decision was due to weakness in the "malternative" segment and declining consumer interest.

Classic what, I have no freaking idea. Did anyone ever even try one?

Hey! Chocobake Fudgy Chocolate Brownies!!!!!!

Good grief:

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals sent a letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, cofounders of Ben & Jerry's Homemade Inc., urging them to replace cow's milk they use in their ice cream products with human breast milk, according to a statement recently released by a PETA spokeswoman. "PETA's request comes in the wake of news reports that a Swiss restaurant owner will begin purchasing breast milk from nursing mothers and substituting breast milk for 75 percent of the cow's milk in the food he serves," the statement says.

No more Cherry Garcia for me if that happens! What would they call their first flavor- Mother's Breast?

Update 8/1: A traffic spike from a pro Fresh & Easy blog tells me I'm not the only one bothered by this.

I rarely rant here, but imagine my incredulity when I got home last night to find these on our door knob.

There's a new Fresh & Easy market opening in our neighborhood. I've only been in an existing store two or three times to date, and I've always found the store spotless and well stocked. Not crazy about a few things- prepackaged vegetables and fruit, the lack of a meat counter, etc., but their business model is based on getting the consumer in and out quickly, with some pretty good stuff. Self checkout only, with a human standing by ready to help, but it's a very 'lean and mean' organization. I respect that.

It's also a non union shop, which is why the grocer's union is so relentless in trying to take them out before they really get rolling here in Phoenix. Did I mention that these door hangers were produced by the grocer's union? They were not produced by Albertson's and Kroger's, whose employees earnestly inform us about a few health infractions going back to 2004 on Tesco's UK operations. They tell us to wait to shop there until there's a proven track record of safe operation in the US, and they referred me to a website where I can sign an anti-Tesco petition. For what? I'm not buying it, sorry, and I'm a union member from way back.

Fight fair, guys. I've been in your local stores here, and found them frequently to be substandard, to say the least. I've bought your meat products, and returned them because they were inedible. I've marveled at the overpriced, aging produce you sell with a straight face. I'm not a snob. I find better quality goods, usually at lower prices, in places like Sprouts, or Costco, or the ethnic stores in our area, so it's a rare day when I visit a supermarket anymore.

Fight fair, guys. You're better than that. Aren't you?

Back to a good 'ol greasy double cheeseburger, I guess. Now researchers say there's possible danger in tilapia. Sheesh:

The researchers found that farm-raised tilapia — the fifth most popular fish consumed in the United States -- could be potentially dangerous to people dealing with heart disease, arthritis and asthma.

That's because farm-raised tilapia has very low levels of beneficial omega-3 fatty acids. "Perhaps worse, it contains very high levels of omega-6 fatty acids," the researchers said.

The combination "could be a potentially dangerous food source for some patients with heart disease, arthritis, asthma and other allergic and auto-immune diseases that are particularly vulnerable to an 'exaggerated inflammatory response.' "

Sounds like they're being awfully selective. I guess we're supposed to just lock ourselves in a dark closet with a lifetime supply of wheat grass.

... when you can have one of these babies?:

This project aims to introduce computing into traditional culinary utensils. It seeks to provide information, in an integrated manner, about any food the spoon is in contact with, and to offer suggestions to improve the food. The spoon is equipped with sensors that measure temperature, acidity, salinity, and viscosity, and is connected to a computer via a cable. The sensors evaluate the different properties of the food, and send them to the computer for further processing. Apart from consolidating measurements that are normally done by an array of equipments into a single spoon, the information obtained can be used to advise the users what their next step should be; for example, it tells the user if there is not enough salt in the brine prepared to make pickles.

The intelligent spoon was invented by Connie Cheng and Leonardo Bonanni, a couple of MIT students. I'm not sure why they're doing this, except because they can, but I guess it could have a practical application.

Can't it?

Thanks to Chuck for the tip.