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February 16, 2007
Friday Funny- Women and Men
(The Pragmatic Groom, waitin' at the altar...)
Happy Friday, folks!! A long, hard week, especially for everyone still shoveling out from all the snow, is finally done.
I'll probably get in trouble for posting this email from Will, but it is pretty funny. I'd just like to go on record as saying that I really do like cats, and kicking them doesn't sound like my idea of a good time...
Have a great weekend, everyone. Whether it's been snowing or not where you are, fire up the grills, get out the Survival Spice™, and cook something good, willya? Email me any time you've got a picture, a tip or a food link to share.
Thanks for reading!
The Difference Between Women And Men
1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20 , even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.
4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that... Is the beginning of a new argument.
6. CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
7. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
8. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
9. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change , and she does.
10. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
11. NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
12. OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Posted by The Pragmatic Chef at February 16, 2007 7:27 AM
Filed under:
Jokes
Comments
Funny, and partially true too!
Posted by: ChrisA at February 16, 2007 4:34 PM
I'd say more than half, at least.
Posted by: the pragmatic chef™ at February 19, 2007 3:07 PM